It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be famous already, or at least getting paid. Not hungry, near homeless and needing any cash I could get. Medical test subject; sounds so ominous. More often than not it's either a free high or you're in the placebo group. No worries either way. Scratch that, it's a paid high; who the fuck doesn't like a paid high? Exactly.
Typical test subject waiver. I find the facility and all it's staff harmless blah blah blah. Next of kin; nope. Possible side effects, diarrhea, nausea, psychic awakening, high blood pressure, headaches, memory loss... Yeah, you read that right. Did you roll your eyes? Me too. I'm not too keen on the runs but I'm sure I'll manage.
The IV goes in, my arm tingles, oh yeah baby; flying high and getting paid. Then black; that's when the chatter starts and along with it the screaming mother of all headaches. It's like a thousand radios all going at once in the middle of a hangover from hell. Someone's pissed at their boyfriend, someone's cheating on their wife, someone feels fat, someone wants to fuck their step sister, someone needs to get butter after work, someone else wants to do something in a chicken suit. It's all I can do to keep my wits about me. I mean sure, it's interesting as fuck but holy shit at what price?. The internet's got nothing on this. Imagine if every idea anyone has right now is a water drop; I am drinking from the mother fucking fire hose and barely hanging on. If I can remember even a sliver of what I've experienced I should finally be able to write some best selling shit...or at least get something published. I can't wait to start scribbling.
"Doctor, subject 107468 continues to be unresponsive."
"How long has it been?"
"Two months to the day."
"Thank god for waivers. Put him in with the rest."
"Do you think he'll come out of it."
"Has anyone yet?"
"No Doctor."
"Don't worry, we're close to a breakthrough. I can feel it. We just need to secure more funding."
"Yes Doctor."
As the Doctor walked down the hallway he though to himself about the absurdity of it all. People want superpowers, faster evolution so badly they were willing to fund even the craziest projects; not that he didn't believe in it, he wouldn't be here otherwise. Well, at least the med students have the bodies they need.
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